Sea + Prairie

gathering: in winter

We're going on day four of a rare winter ice storm here in Texas.  

And with colds setting in for two of the boys and feeling a bit of cabin fever myself, I took the opportunity to get out a bit.  

Out into the world.

The natural world...the real world.

I know by now that even if it is raining, or cloudy, or hot as

h-e-double-hockysticks,

or in this case freezing, it does my soul good to get out.

I always feel more centered, more focused, more patient having spent a bit of time outside.

Even when it is 17 degrees outside.

The ever curious, Mabel came along.

Maybe she was as excited as I was to see what we could find right in and around our own yard.

The gathering included

Red nandina

cedar that smelled heavenly

mistletoe in bloom

holly with red berries

As I walked, my mind began to wander...as it does.  

In poetry, winter is often linked to death.  But to me, the starkness of the gray-white background makes everything come alive.  

Winter is not at all about death.  Its about rest, and clarity.

Not only do I see the bare shapes of the trees, the vibrant reds of the cardinal, but I see what's important in my life laid out before me like a grocery list.

Gathering greenery to deck the halls.

Gathering ideas and thoughts and perspective along the way.

 

in the garden :: late spring

It has been a few days since I've been in the garden.  It has rained and rained and rained for days now.  We're about to float away here in Virginia.  And I've been forced to back off a bit and let nature do its thing.    

There are mornings that my boys wake up in the morning and I swear that they were 2 inches shorter when I put them to bed the night before.  That's how Im feeling about the garden this morning as I walk around and see what a few days of rain can do.  

The mint is exploding!  

The sugar snap peas are full and fat with the new moisture.  

The garlic, onions and leeks are doing their thing.

The side boards of the  raised beds are barely holding in the chives, basil, rosemary and oregano that are spilling over into the yard.

The boys have been invaluable at helping me keep up with the weeding.  And Im so thankful that they are at an age to really enjoy helping out.  Seems like some of our best conversations happen while pulling weeds.  Something about the hands being busy, allows the thoughts to flow.  

And its a good thing, because as the boys were on the soccer field last week, I noticed the shorts were hitting them a bit higher up on the leg than they were last week.

It happens overnight sometimes, doesn't it?

numbered

I felt it yesterday on the soccer field, in jeans and long sleeves, reading the Fall issue of Urban Farm magazine, coffee in hand.  Our days of summer are numbered here.  Autumn is fast approaching.  

There is so much to do.

Harvest, put away, freeze, can the tomatoes, the herbs, the squash and zucchini.

Soccer practice for the older boys (4 times a week) begins again. Carpool.

Fall planting of greens and garlic to get in the ground.

New shoes for everyone.

Seed saving.

School clothes to buy.

Not unlike little squirrels with their mouths full of nuts, preparing for the winter.  

Hurry, enjoy, savor, soak it all in!  The light, the warmth, the relaxed schedule.  Live in it, right now!

Just a few weeks ago, as the late afternoon sun would come barreling in through the back windows, I closed the blinds to it.  It was too hot...too strong...too much.

But now I find myself wanting to bask in the much softer, longer streams of light that filter in.  Mabel seems to have it right.

We've been watching the animals and their cues that Autumn is approaching.  The wooly bear caterpillars, the bees, the squirrels, they all know its coming.

But somehow they continue on about their work with effortless ease.  They've picked up their pace indeed.  But they are not crazy running around to find yellow sharpie hilighters and the correct size of Ball jars.

Somehow they seem to almost enjoy the readying for Fall.

So I listen to what the kings and queens of the nature world are trying to tell me.  I come in close so that I don't miss a thing.

They seem to say, "Drink the late summer warmth in by the gallons, lay in it, roll around in it so that it covers your entire being.  It is good for you.  Good for your soul.  This warmth is meant to carry you through the darker days to come. "

I love Mary Oliver's poem, Song for Autumn

In the deep fall
    don't you imagine the leaves think how
comfortable it will be to touch
    the earth instead of the
nothingness of air and the endless
    freshets of wind? And don't you think
the trees themselves, especially those with mossy,
    warm caves, begin to think

of the birds that will come — six, a dozen — to sleep
    inside their bodies? And don't you hear
the goldenrod whispering goodbye,
    the everlasting being crowned with the first
tuffets of snow? The pond
    vanishes, and the white field over which
the fox runs so quickly brings out
    its blue shadows. And the wind pumps its
bellows. And at evening especially,
    the piled firewood shifts a little,
longing to be on its way.

- - - - - - 

Yes, this morning as windows are open and coffee cools a little sooner, I am feeling our days of summer are numbered.

Squirrels have their nuts to gather...I'm obviously collecting muckboots.

ruralness

I am missing rural-ness.

I mean I love living relatively close to Target and Panera Bread and the like.  It is pretty convenient to live where we do.  If I forget one of the boys is scheduled to take snacks to school one day, I can leave my house, run to the store and have the individually wrapped goldfish to the school in 18 minutes.

Not that I've ever done that.  :-)

But there's just something about the country I miss right now.

I think when our lives get topsy-turvy and all out of whack, we go back to where we started, what grounds us, where we feel most at home.

And for me, I need space.

I've been helping out at our church's food pantry the past several months.  I love it.

And yesterday, the woman that runs the pantry called and asked if I could shoot down to Pungo (a rural area near us) to pick up some eggs that had become available.

Ahhh...

Just the drive down the windy one lane road.  The sight of red barns, strawberries in the fields, little road side stands.  The purina checkerboard signs in front of feed stores.  It all screams "HOME" to me.

Today I am thankful for the 30 minutes I took to pick up eggs, thinking I was helping our food pantry.  And like it always works, I ended up with the gift in the end.

truth

I have come to love the time between Christmas and the new year almost as much as I love Christmas itself.

It has become a week of quiet...relative to our household of 3 rambunctious boys.  They are content and playing with their new Christmas treasures and I have time to journal, to browse through seed catalogs, plan, refocus.  And this year I savored every moment.

This year, I've decided that my one word will be

TRUTH.

Yes, in the Biblical sense of truth.  "the way, the truth, the life".  But also I want to focus on the truth in my present.

And here are three truths about me:

Truth #1
I am a good wife.  A good wife who is trying to hold on to her marriage with both hands, making sure she is doing everything she can to make it work.  The truth is, I might not be able to do enough to make that happen.  Despite my best efforts, it still may fail.  The truth is, for a long time I have been carrying more than my share of the load.  The truth is, I can only do my part.

Truth #2
My husband is battling mental illness.  Truth is, he has been for awhile.  I don't know if it is something that has always been there and I was just too busy being a good military wife to really see it.  Truth is, it may go back to when he was a kid. Most likey.  Truth is, it could have something to do with the stress of being at war for the last 10 years.  I don't know.  But truth is, its there, it is real, its scary and we have to deal with it.  Truth is, there are times I want to run away.

Truth #3
I am a good mother.  I am a mother who has good kids.  The truth is I can be proud of them.  They are respectful and smart and funny.  They are active and loving and generous.  The truth is they are struggling...one of them in particular.  He is angry and I have excused his anger for a long time.  The truth is, its time to call a spade a spade and get him the help he needs regarding his learning disability and his emotions.

Truth #4
I am worth it, every bit of it.  The truth is I deserve to take time to exercise.  The truth is, I am worth putting good food into my body.  I am worth flowers and dinners and dancing.  Truth is, I am good enough.  Pretty enough.  Smart enough.  Truth is, I deserve to be known.  To be cared for.  To be loved deeply.  Truth is, so are you.

Truth #5
Truth is, I love Jesus. Unfortunately, I tend to want to make everyone feel comfortable.  To feel valued.  I shy away from confrontation.  But truth is, I am scared.  I'm scared that you will think I am one of those crazy Christians who don't love gay people, or that I am one of "those" who think that global warming isn't real, that I am pushy with my faith or won't be accepting yours.  That I am one of "them" who give "us" a bad name.  Truth is, I am not.  Truth is, my faith is what is keeping me afloat most days.  And if I am truly following "the way,the truth, the lifet" my ONLY job is to love.

Truth #6
Truth is, I am not alone.

You would think that a woman who is 38 years old would have learned all of these lessons by now.  But the truth is I feel like in many ways, my journey is just now beginning.

Here's to new beginnings.  And here's to living in the TRUTH.

Happy 2012!

P.S.  One last truth, I can't find my memory card this morning, so your getting instagram pics from my phone.  That's the truth. :-)

postcard from the cabin

3 mamas and 11n kids between us...

that's 22 flip flops to keep track of,

4 silly stories about glitter and unicorns,

0 husbands, 

1 black dog,

18 hornets killed,

8 boat rides, 

3 people swimming the boat back to shore after running out of gas,

111 icey pops eaten and 31 sandwiches,

0 fish caught,

1 earthquake,

6 conked heads on the tube,

2 bags of marshmallows,

1 night out in the tent...

and at least a million smiles.

-------------------

I could not have asked for a better way to hit the reset button and prepare to head into another season.  Time spent in the outdoors and nature always seem to do that for me.  And the icing on the cake, was it was time spent with two of my bestest girl friends and their kids.

A few things I realized...

::  nature really is the great equalizer, where else can eleven kiddos from the ages of 17 to 5 have so much fun together

::  I want to hold on to how blessed I feel right now for a little while longer...maybe all the way to Christmas

::  next time, bring more chocolate...and more wine

::  mamas rock...seriously

::  I need to get away more often

::  watching Shannon's kids tell such great stories makes me want to tell more stories to my kids

Also of note...

::  Yes, we felt the earthquake.  At least those of us not on the boat at the time.  My first.  Never thought I'd experience a quake on the East Coast.

::  And yes, now we're preparing for Irene's arrival on Saturday.  What a summer!

A Most Perfect Morning

 

Sometimes people ask, if you were to have a day to yourself, what would you do.

Well yesterday I didn't have an entire day to myself, but I did get a morning.  And it could not have been more perfect.

One of my best friends and I have had some time blocked off on the calendar for what seems to be weeks now.  We didn't know what we would be doing, and honestly it didn't really matter.  But we knew getting together was important, chatting, grabbing a cup of coffee.  Wandering...all very important you know.

We ended up driving out to a little rural area just South of here.  Just the drive was therapeutic.  As the grocery stores and drive-throughs gave way to planted fields and farms stands, I could just feel the pressures and stresses we've both felt as of late melt away.

We ended up at a new little antique/vintage/handmade shop called Southern Fried.  We were there 30 minutes before opening time, but the owners let us in and browse anyway. Love it when shop owners are so nice. If you are local you should definitely check it out.

Next we ended up at one of our favorite plant nurseries.  It is not the cheapest place to buy plants, but they put things together so nicely it is a great place to get ideas of color combinations and textures.  You end up thinking about putting plants together you'd never think of.  Kind of like browsing through an Anthropologie store.  I can't afford to buy anything, but just looking at different ways of putting together what you already have is inspirational!

We didn't end up buying much.  I picked up some Lamb's ear to replace some I lost when I re-did our front flower beds.  And my friend picked up a gorgeous dark purple pepper plant (I can't remember the name now) that neither of us had ever seen before.

And I loved seeing all of the new colors, most importantly salmon colored verbena.  I have some around our mailbox in purple, but never seen it in this soft peachy color.  Love it!

And succulents!  I could very well become addicted to all of the new varieties of succulents.  That wouldn't be such a bad thing would it?

So happy to be heading into a very busy next few days feeling a bit more rested, calmed, centered.

There is a lot going on this weekend.  We'll see how much we can fit in, but our next few days may include any combination of the following: 

• The Warbirds show is this weekend.
• And its sheep shearing time at our favorite farm.
• Scouting some logs to make some of Blair's stump tables.
• Updating the ipod with songs from Alexander.  Thanks for the rec Sara!
• Alyssa has her second soccer game on Saturday night.  Go Piranhas!
• A birthday party for a little friend to attend.
• A breakfast meeting.
• Two more soccer games for the boys.
• Strawberry picking is a must!
• And I'd like to work on the teacher quilts too.

It might all be a bit too much to ask, but if I get half of it done I'll call it good!

Happy weekend to you!

In Black and White

More and more these days I find myself converting my photos to black and white.  I boost up the contrast and warm it up a bit.

Quite possibly a need for things go be more clear, more one way or the other in my own life.  I know...I'm in my head quite a bit these days.  But one thing about blogging for so many years now.  I know this is what January brings for me.  And I'm good with that.

At the same time I am wanting to get back to documenting our everyday life.  I so want to remember how my boys sat while they did their homework.  How the light is beginning to peak through the blinds a bit earlier everyday.  Garden planning.  Tea time.

Even my messy corner looks almost poetic in black and white, the January calendar not filled in, remaining open for what will come next month.

Speaking of what's to come...

We're excited about a three day weekend.  The boys are already making lists of things they want to do.

Among them...

:: listen to MLK's "I Have A Dream" speach.

:: Start our Valentines

:: Go swimming at the rec center

:: Make obstacle courses for the guinnea pigs

:: Have another dart gun war in the park

:: Learn to draw R2-D2

Here's to three day weekends and to documenting the everyday!

Happy Friday friends!

A Quilt and A Life: Little By Little

Some projects come with initial idea and execution strategy all at once.  In a flurry I hit the sewing machine or grab the glue gun and in one evening the project is finished.

Done.

This quilt is another story.

I have been feeling guilty about not finishing it sooner.  But I got the message I had needing to hear today.

This quilt comes along in its own sweet time.

I first posted about it here...and how Carole was teaching me.

I did a bit more fabric cutting here.

And today I got a bit of time to begin piecing the squares together.  Now I have nice long strips that need to get sewn together...finally.

It is coming together.

This quilt just has its own timing.

I just couldn't make the bright blue work for me.  

The white fabric with the little yellow flowers on it was a duvet cover that I picked up a few weeks back.  A thrift find from our newly opened Goodwill store.  I think it lightens the whole thing up and I am liking it.  I think I'll use the rest for the backing.

I pick favorite "spots" on the quilt as it comes together.  Thinking that if this quilt were going to be mine, I would fold it so this "spot" showed.  My new favorite "spot" is the one shown in the top photo. I just love it.

Favorite spots.

Pieces coming together little by little.

I would love to say that it will be finished and ready to quilt by tomorrow.

But most likely it won't.

It will sit right where it is until the time is right...or company comes and needs the bed.

So much like my life these days.

Little pieces picked up here and there...a little vintage a little new.  Lessons learned along the way. Waiting for the right timing.  Getting up the courage to dig in again.  Not feeling guilty. 

And again...

I am so happy to have a friends along for the ride.

Reflections

This is a shot of the mirror in my Papaw's bedroom.  While visiting in Texas this past week I was lucky, oh so lucky, to have gotten to visit with him twice.  Its always difficult to talk while you are trying to keep three rowdy little boys busy and relatively quiet...not an easy task my friends.

But he and my Grammer are pretty special people to me.

I can't remember why I went back to this room now.  But I found it interesting the three photos that he had stuck in the top of his mirror.  I think they pretty much some up my vision of him.

::The first one is of an airplane.  He was a pilot for many years.  When he started the tractor, with us aboard, he would make us say "contact" before he would turn the tractor key...like we were starting a plane.

::The second is of he and a cow when he was a little boy.  He raised cows for many years too.  Some of my fondest memories of their house was visiting the cows. 

::And finally, the last photo is a snapshot of my grandfather's grandparents.

I've been reflecting a lot on this past year too and working on a bit of a month by month recap with a few more photos.

Maybe I'll get it finished tomorrow.  But for now I'm thinking about what three photos will be on my mirror 50 years from now.

What are you reflecting on today?